Another Blog Post About Coming Back to Blogging

This post may not make sense because I’m in the throes of hormone-induced insomnia. Despite completing my bedtime routine which includes reading for two hours and taking a sleep-inducing cannabis gummy, I could not sleep. Even the Grand Daddy Purple (BakedBros is usually very helpful with sleep) hasn’t helped and I find myself in sensory overload/overwhelm hell. My mind questions every sound in the area. Dogs barking. My husband breathing The whirring of the heat as it starts up to warm our too-large apartment. The smells are even stronger. Sandalwood, coconut oil, dust, sweat, toothpaste, deodorant, soap. Even the air is heavy on my limbs like I’ve stuffed myself into a can, limbs spilling over the brim like biscuits, yet unable to move.

Previously, I’d stress myself out about my lack of slumber. My preferred activity during the first two days of my period is to eat-sob-worry about how my body has betrayed me. My hormonal shifts tests my mental health and my ability to bounce back. Most days, I struggle with all of it. I give into the anxiety of pain and fatigue. It’s a never-ending cycle.

But I’ve been reading Stephen Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” in which Covey writes often about the importance of choice and choosing. He says:

“But until a person can say deeply and honestly, ‘I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday,’ that person cannot say, ‘I choose otherwise.’”

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R Covey

This quote has lived rent free in my head for almost a week. I’ve mulled the words over, reflecting on how I have tried to change without owning my previous choices. Which brings me to this post.

I’ve toyed with starting a blog again. I’ve missed the writing I did back in 2004-2008 when blogging and the Internet were very different, and, dare I say it, better.

Before blog posts became brag posts. Before every thought became monetized and every insight curated to appease the keeping-up-with-the-joneses vibe. During those early days of blogging, we connected over shared experiences and giving voice to our secret struggles and wins. Of course people have been acting foolish online since Al Gore founded the World Wide Web, but I’m choosing to ignore those users and focus on the kind and good ones. I miss connecting with those people.

So here I am, blogging again, writing my way through pain, anxiety, depression, and happiness. Sharing my life. And this is as good a first post as any, no?


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